Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Wednesday Wish List

It's mid-week and I've been shoveling my driveway thinking about the things I'd like to get my hands on right now that just might make my life a bit better. Maybe I'm in dream-land here but unseasonably bad weather makes me a bit cray cray.

1) I'd like to squeeze my butt into a pair of size 8 jeans. Any over priced brand will do, the point is that they be a size 8 and I fit into them for the rest of my adult life. Forever. Forever ever. 
If size 8 is good enough for Mariska Hargitay and Valerie Bertinelli then it's good enough for me. (Never mind that they're older.)

2) I'd like a miracle cellulite cream that actually works. Like for real. With modern medicine/technology can no one figure out a cream/potion/magic elixir that will make my dimple butt go away? Forever? 
{Boo. Hiss. These do not work.}

3) I'd like Marc Jacobs to come and design for me. Personally.  I will allow him to use me as his muse and maybe even his exclusive lovah. (What's that you say? He's gay?) Never mind then. Just being his style muse will do.

{Ignore Posh, insert Mama here.}

 Till then, (cuz I know he's working on Fall/Winter 2011) he can feel free to FedEx these to me at anytime. Freebies of course.

4) I'd like to pick up a new bike. Yes a bicycle. La Bicyclette. In order to fit into my size 8 jeans (forever) I'll be needing something in addition to a gym membership or Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred (which is actually more like an every 5 or 6 days if I'm feeling up to it Shred.)  Something new like this cruiser would be super-cute.

5) I'd like Kid #2 (who is now a bold 20 months old) to stop running into the bathroom, climbing up onto the toilet, then onto the counter and then into the sink while plugging the drain and turning on the taps. (Fully dressed and sitting in the sink.)

{No this isn't him. But I'm too busy cursing to stop and take a pic while he's up to his shenanigans}

6) I'd like my hair to look like this. Everyday. If anyone knows Ken Paves number please share. (We'll just pull him away from his world travels with Jessica Simpson on "The Price of Beauty."}

{Source, google images}

Monday, April 26, 2010

Winter never ends. never.

{via Charlie Macfarlane}

So how'd you all spend your weekend? Maybe shopping while walking around in sandals, or perhaps mowing your grass, planting flower beds,  having friends over for a BBQ and other springtime activities. Yeah, those would be the "normal" sort of things a person would want to do at the end of April. How about me you ask? We sat inside and watched it snow all morning,  third week of December style. Oh but wait, it's APRIL.
 We don't actually live at the north pole though I'm sure you were wondering about that.
My kids wanted to build a mother fracking snow man this afternoon. *sigh*

{No daffodils, no tulips, no green.}


Thursday, April 22, 2010

My Favorite Hates

While driving home from the mall this afternoon I stopped at a red light behind a car that was so ugly it actually made me cringe. The thing is, it was a new car, not some clunker from '83 that was covered in rust. As I sat behind the car, it's styling (or lack there of) actually offended me and got me to thinking about about other things that make me turn up my nose. You know when something just isn't right and you can't help but be a hater?!
Yeah, yeah, most people blog about their favorite things- the shopping, food, clothes, crafts, kids stuff, whatever it is that they enjoy. And I usually like to share about my love for the good stuff too. But this post is dedicated to that which I dislike -  ain't  no rainbows, puppies, snaps or cheers here. 

{Today's first offender: I can't quite put my finger on it, but this "Cadillac" looks like a cross between a tin can, a Pontiac Aztec (the undisputed UGLIEST car of all time) and Robo-Cops' butt...}

{Harem Pants- they were terrible when MC Hammer did 'em. Nothing's changed since. Why would you want to look like you didn't quite make it to the bathroom on time and may have filled your pants??}

{Carrot Top. I've mentioned this before, but this man is Creepy McCreeperson. Blech.}

{Nancy Grace. Could this woman be any MORE annoying? No.
 Her painful drawl, her intensity and quasi-legal speak always make me change the channel now, like right NOW.  No Nancy, we don't know where the missing teen/car-jacker/baby Ashley is right now...but you'll let us know as soon as YOU do.}

{Interpretive Dance. I can't handle the jerky, weird-o choreography of modern interpretive dance. I'm not the only one here right?}

{TMZ. Total trash. Harvey Levin and his band of misfit Pap's run after (mostly) B-list celebs and ask them dumb-ass questions. "What'd you have for lunch today Snoop Dog?"   We don't care. And yet you get sucked in to watching this crapsandwich of a show (like every night, when I'm supposed to be going to bed.)}

{Cluster Diamond Rings. Ugly. Dated. Ugly. Tiny diamonds as a poor excuse for a decent sized one. Men, save your money and delay the engagement until you can afford a solitaire.}

{Celery and Pineapple. I really don't know why, but I can't stand eating either of these. Pineapple is such a great way to completely RUIN a perfectly good ham and cheese pizza.}

Yeah this is a strange and random list of dislikes and maybe I've just sucked the sunshine from your day, but there is something really gratifying about bitching about that which I abhor. Everyone has some things that drives them nutty....let's hear about  your favorite hates!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Loooong weekend

It has been a long weekend indeed! Friday night I went out with some gf's to a "passion party"...y'all know what those are. Now anyone can purchase adult novelties (aka, sex toys) in the comfort of their friends home. If anything it was good for a laugh...and a lot of wine. No guilt because of the wine that nite. We all went out later for more drinks and apparently somehow ended up at home around 4:00am. Bless Husbands heart....he  was oblivious and really couldn't care less when I arrived home. Yeah, he's caring like that.

The next day BFF and I met up with with BFF#2 and her kids who were visiting from out of town. (My) Kid #1 came along and they all went swimming in her hotel pool and water-slid (is that the correct english?) all day. We ordered some food in and I ate enough Pizza, McDonalds and more Pizza to cause the worst post-hangover food hangover ever. I think I had a weeks worth of calories and fat grams in one day. In fact I know I did. (You know how the day after you drink all you want to do is eat crappy/greasy/carby food?) Well I did and the diet gods are NOT impressed.

Saturday was busy, but Saturday nite had me driving Kid #2 to the Emergency Department because he had a fever of 105 F. Not so good. He'd been sick for a few days with a fever but I just chalked it up to a bad cold. But on Saturday nite as he lay lifeless and sprawled out on the couch I figured it was time to seek a professional opinion. Why is it that we always have to take our kids to Emerg at 2:00 in the  morning?? And why is it so damn busy at 2:00am???  We were home by 6:00am and Kid #2 had a confirmed case of Strep throat, an ear infection and an upper respiratory infection. Yay for antibiotics!  He's doing much better and Mama is finally caught up on her sleep.

Moral of this story is...
hangovers+redicuously long playdates+sick kid+lack of sleep = a LONG weekend. 

Happy Tuesday kids.....

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Wino-holic-ism and other vices....

Since right after I was pregnant with Kid #2, I've developed a crazy love for wine. I don't know if it was the fact that it was off limits for 9 months, (so was sushi, Brie cheese and excessive amounts of coffee) and while I did crave those things, I really really missed my vino!  We always want what we can't have. That probably makes me sound like a super wino and really I'm not, in fact I'll maybe have a glass or two with dinner on Sundays only. But I just can't get over how much I enjoy a delicious, refreshing glass of white wine (or red, I'll knock that back too.)
{Common, millions of Japanese and French women ate this stuff during pregnancy, is it really that risky?}

I'd probably drink way more if it weren't for the fact that I'm alone with the kids 6 nights a week and I can't very well be drinking while I'm on the job (can I?)  And besides, who wants to drink alone. And no, the kids being present does not count as 'social drinking'.  I prefer to enjoy my wine with people over 5 feet tall.
And if you can believe this, the numero uno reason that I don't drink more wine is because of the calories.  Massive Weight Loss 2010 continues (as always) and I just can't justify the extra calories. Really, this is what it has come down to. I don't drink more because I'm afraid it will make me gain weight!!?!  Whatever keeps me off the sauce I suppose....
I'm not sure why I feel guilty about my lurve of wine. It's not like it's a bad thing in moderation. But honestly I'll catch myself dreaming about big glass of vino on some random Tuesday night....  "Oh look Kid #1, you've spilled your yogurt all over the couch. Again. For like the 3rd time today. But that's ok because Mama's drinking a giant glass of Chardonnay. Carry on...."    

It's sorta the same way I feel about smoking. While I don't actually smoke and never have, I will most definitely have one if offered it in a social situation. It's a guilty pleasure you'd think I would have grown out of by now. (And there was a time when I actually considered smoking as a weight maintenance strategy! It works for models right? But then so does snorting coke so I guess that's a weak argument.)  Obviously common sense won out on that one. I mean, it's not like you can smoke anywhere anymore anyway...

So I suppose this means that I don't drink more because I'm afraid I'll get fat and I don't smoke because it's really just inconvenient.  Whatever keeps me in line....?!!!

Do you have any guilty pleasures that kinda make you feel, well, guilty?

Monday, April 12, 2010

Celebrity sightings....

So I'm a bit of a celebrity lover and I've managed to have a few celebrity sightings in my time.  The few times I've spotted a star I tend to get a little giddy and stupid and have to remember to be cool. (No celeb wants you to stare directly while you frantically and completely non-subtly, grab your camera for a quick pic, with flash of course.)
I haven't actually seen someone that really knocks yours socks off,  or makes you call your friends and brag about it forever... but I've caught a glimpse of a few stars. Let's all remember that I live in Calgary, Canada (landlocked and about 1500 miles from Hollywood.)  However I've still managed to get a peek at  some decent stars and some not-so-decent, like Carrot Top. (Is it just me or is he the creepiest/oddest looking person ever?)

{ R&B singer- Usher.  Saw him downtown riding his bike with his girl friend (Usher rides a bike, who knew?) They jumped off their bikes, laid them against a lamp post (no locks) and went into a clothing store. Apparently they were under the impression that no one steals in Canada?}

{Kirstie Alley, although when I saw her she was looking more like this....}

{She is a beautiful woman with great hair, but holy HELL does she have a HUGE rear-end. Like it's a shelf you could rest your latte on...}

{ Matthew Fox, star of LOST. He is a good looking man. I saw him right before LOST became a huge world-wide hit. At the time I really just thought of him as Charlie off of Party of Five.}

One of my good friends Joelle has managed to somehow run into half of Hollywood. Whether she's on holiday, on a plane, waiting to catch the subway, getting a sandwich at Subway, this girl is continually having celeb sightings. I've asked her to share her favourite sightings. So I suppose this is my first time featuring a 'guest post'. Here's her run-down! (ignore the formatting issues, Blogger makes me want to scream sometimes!)

 - I thought I would jot a few details down for you on the celebrities I have seen...

         Michael Jackson 

– it was New Year’s Eve 1994 and we were at Disneyland in Anaheim, CA – he was in the car behind us on the Space Mountain ride.  He was with 2 kids and a Disneyland representative.  There was a lot of hoopla made for him – they closed down the ride for him and he was definitely not dressed that inconspicuously (for frack sakes – he was there on New Year’s Eve wearing a black trench coat and a black fedora)

                                                               Andrew McCarthey

– I was in Las Vegas with my mom and my then boyfriend Brett – we went for my 23rd birthday.   We were walking through the lobby of Caesar’s Palace and saw him there with his girlfriend.  She was bossing him around, I realized who he was said to him “hey you're a star... I know who you are... you're that guy... that guy in Pretty and Pink... you're Blaine!”.  He seemed a little perturbed that I did not know his name and that I really was not that interested in getting his autograph.
                                                                                              Barbara Walters

            -       I saw her in New York when I was there in 1998.  She was with her daughter and her grandchild in Central  Park.  She is really short and pretty grouchy. 
             Chris Angel

-       A friend of mine is a producer in Vegas  (his name is Richard)  and when I was there last year for my birthday he took me to the Cirque du Soleil Believe show at the Luxor.  We went back stage after the show as Richard knows him.  In the words of my soon to be 9 year old step-son, this guy is a major douche bag.  He was all over this skank and was obviously too cool to for anything or anyone.  He had bought Richard's Lambo off him and they chatted for a bit and all the while was fondling this ho bag that was all over him, he is obviously a boob man.  Might I note that he was wearing a LOT of black eye liner... Nuff said.

                                              Michael Keaton
-       I saw him when I was in New York again when I was there in 1998.  He was having dinner with a group of friends in SoHo at the fabulous restaurant the Mercer Kitchen.  He actually ended up giving me an autograph, but was reluctant to take a picture with me because ‘he did not know what I was going to do with the picture’... give me a freaking break, what DID he think I was going to do, sell the fracking thing on ebay?  Manipulate it?  He kind of had an inflated sense of self especially given he had not really done anything of significance in a LONG time and the fact that there were several other BIG names in the same restaurant that evening... which takes me to...
                                                        Claudia Schiffer
-       She walked in to the restaurant and held court at the bar.  She is VERY tall and VERY skinny.  In fact, I think that she is the skinniest  person I have EVER seen.  She is every bit as gorgeous as she is in photographs.  I was too intimidated to approach her, however I did stand right beside her.  Just being that close made me feel very short, dumpy and fat.  Argh!  Why can’t I be a super model?  Did I also mention she was surrounded by a group of gay men and David Copperfield, her husband at the time was NO where to be found!
                                                                    Leonardo De Caprio
-       The night at the Mercer Kitchen proved to be the best night of my life for celebrity sightings, as Leo was also in the ‘house’ or if I may the ‘kitchen’ that night.  He had just filmed ‘The Quick and the Dead’ and was canoodling in a booth with some girl.  He looked really young and he was really very quiet and private. 

      Steve Martin

-       Steve Martin is my all time fav actor and author... I cannot say much beyond the fact I love this man!  While I was in Los Angeles I admit I stalked him, yes, I did.  For the 3 weeks  I went to The Farm in Beverly Hills (might I mention I was staying in West Hollywood) for breakfast as I heard he goes there sometimes.  I saw him a total of 7 times and could not bring myself to approach him.  I had also heard that he does not take too well to fans and anyone who intrudes on his personal time.  I just could not bear to have him reject my request for an autograph or gasp a picture with him.  He smiled at me.

                                                            Paul Gross
-          I met Paul in Gatineau, Quebec at the Hilton Lac Leamy.  We were staying on the same floor, in the executive suites and the floor Concierge introduced us.  I thought he looked familiar and mentioned as much to him – the exchange went something like this:
Me: ‘You look very familiar – do you live in Western Canada?’
Him: ‘No I live in Toronto, but I was born in Calgary’
Me: ‘That must be it, I am from Calgary as well – what is it you do?’
Him:  ‘Well, I am an actor’
Me: ‘Really!  Stage or film?’
Him: ‘Both actually’
Me: ‘Have you been in anything I might know?’
Him:  ‘Perhaps, most recently “Men with Brooms’
Me:  ‘Nope – did not see it, anything else?’
Him:  ‘Well, you may recognize me from Due South’
Me:  ‘I saw it once or twice, what was your role?’
Him: ‘Constable Benton Fraser, the Mountie’
Me: ‘REALLY?!’
I felt like a total IDIOT!  He was staying in the suite next to mine and he invited me down to the common area with him for a drink, as we were the only 2 guests on the entire floor.   I think that he is a total hottie, he is married and has kids and is very much in love with his family.  He is very generous and very gracious.  He said he ‘got a kick out of me’.  After meeting him I was a fan!

                                             Catherine Deneuve
-       My most recent sighting was in Paris at the Hotel Lutetia bar.  She was having tea and macaroons with her grandson, whom I might add is going to be very handsome.  She looks great – wore a black trench coat and very large black shades which she traded for tortoise shell glasses.  She did not look especially celebrity, but I did KNOW that it was her.  Both John( my fiance) and I commented on the fact that her handbag was well worn.

                                                  Elisha Cuthbert

-       I saw her and helped her at Pottery Barn this past summer.  During my interaction with her I came to the following conclusion:  ANYONE can look amazing if they have a team of professionals and airbrushing.  I noticed her fabulous red Valentino bag right off the bat and commented to her about it.  She is very short and not as skinny as she was portrayed on the cover of Women’s Health last year.  Her hair was UBER blonde and VERY over processed.  She bites her fingernails and was in desperate need of a manicure.  In my 10 minute exchange with her I also came to the conclusion you don’t have to be smart to be successful in Hollywood.  This girl is dumb as a post – she wanted to ship furniture from Pottery Barn Calgary to ‘their’ cottage in Nova Scotia.  I mentioned she would be killed on shipping fees and should order and ship from one of the stores in Toronto.  She indicated that she would prefer to ship from Calgary as she liked the store better!  What an idiot!  I also mentioned on store radio that she was in the store and all of the stock boys came up to see her for themselves... let’s just say all of them were unimpressed. 

Thanks J. for giving us the 411 on your sightings. I guess I'm a total geek but I really like seeing stars in real life! Who are your fave celeb sightings...and did you giggle and shriek like a little girl when you suddently recognized who they were (or is that just me?)


Saturday, April 10, 2010

Diamonds are obviously a girls BFF...

Diamonds kinda make me smile- diamonds in engagement rings. Don't you just love hearing proposal stories?
But, you know when your friend gets engaged and you're all happy and excited for them but really you just want to see that dang diamond on their finger?! They're sparkly, pretty, shiny and symbolic of love. What could be better than that?
As much as I adore enjoy shopping, at the end of the day it's all just more 'stuff'.  Obviously relationships and people are what really matter, but the one material thing that really brings me joy, and I know I'll never get tired of, is my wedding set. It represents a lot of different things...important things like commitment, love and trust. But it's also really sparkly!

So, if I could go back in a Hot Tub Time Machine to when I was engaged, I don't think I would have changed a single thing about my engagement ring. I really like the cut and setting. Score 1 for Husband!
(Not that I had any choice in the matter, Husband picked out the ring and surprised me with the proposal.)
Clever fox.

But if I won the lottery and could buy whatever I wanted, (I'll be needing $20 million- minimum otherwise why bother?!) and after I'd donated mucho $$ to important and worthy world charities/causes (gotta do my part),  I'd still have a few mill left over.  The logical thing to do would be to upgrade my ring.

So here are few that I'm considering (in my fantasy "I won the Power Ball or Lotto 6-49" world...)

{My fave ring that I don't have- 2 carat Tiffany Legacy Collection engagement ring $38, 500}

{ Harry Winston Emerald-cut diamond, 21.16 carats (only 21 carats?) 
Hmmm interesting enough there's no price listed. Sure it's big but there's no such things as too big right?}

{Kwiat Bridal Collection Platinum Vintage Style ring. Simple and understated. I'd take that...}

{Google Images}

{This one is dear to my heart, Tiffany Lucida diamond ring- 2 carats, $33,500. It's my ring but mine didn't, ahem, cost $33, 500??!) This would be a true upgrade.

What's your dream/fantasy piece of jewelry?  Do large shiny diamonds make your heart skip too?


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