Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Mmm-muffin top!

Muffin tops, what could be worse?  Ok, maybe a few things like Global Warming or the threat of an Iranian Nuclear weapons program.  But right now, today, it's a muffin top and I'm not talking about the warm, freshly baked kind, served best straight from the oven (with butter). drool.

Since kid #2 arrived, my post-baby bod is definately different then pre-baby. While I'm managing to lose most of the weight through Massive Weight Loss 2009, I seem to be suffering from some 'belly fat' issues that were NOT there pre-baby.  ick.
While I suppose I shouldn't complain about something so trivial, it does drive me bananas!  (but really, what isn't trivial compaired to Iran's potential for weapons of mass distruction?)

Why the muffin top?

Theory #1
I'm a chunky monkey around the tum-tum.  duh, obviously? And all the Jazzercize in the world ain't gonna help! (does Jazzercise still exist?)

Theory #2
The rise on jeans (length of crotch) is borderline obscene.  YEAH, I like that theory better, it's not me, it's the jeans.

Seriously, over the last 5-6 years, jeans have definately made a move towards a shorter rise (7 inches, are you for real?) "Designer" jeans are to blame but I still love 'em.  {One simple request "7 For All Mankind" too "R&R", please, pretty please make a slightly longer rise on your gor-geous jeans.}

No one wants to see this mama's muffin top, and I'm am soooo tired of body slimmers. Eff YOU Nancy Ganz...and all your support garments.
  (Actually, no Nancy, I take that back. Without you I'd be totally eff'd. Now I just look like freakin' STUFFED SAUSAGE trying to fit into some freakin' skinny jeans wearing a body slimmer).

To be fair, in the last year or two, jeans have been slowly moving a little bit longer in the rise. Thanks to the GAP's "Curvy jeans"  my Spanx are only for special occasions...when I want to look like a stuffed sausage?!?

Really, at the end of the day, the only solution is to continue Massive Weight Loss 2009-10 and squeeze my ass into decent jeans, sans body slimmer. Low rise or not.  I have pre-baby jeans just sitting in my closet crying out to be worn.....  "15 more pounds mama, and we're yours again".....



Blair said...

I feel your pain on this one! I like the tummy tuck jeans from Macy's, they disguise my muffin top GREAT!!

Have a fab day!

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Ooh I will have to check out those GAP jeans! I'm a little chunky in the middle too and it sucks trying to fit in some of my favorite pairs of jeans. (And yes, I resort to Spanx sometimes too lol). Great post!

Anonymous said...

Try the Ginger jeans by 7 - they are higher and the legs are wider. So you get the added benefit of tummy control and leg legthening! Awesome! I bought 2 pairs at Neiman Marcus at the Fashion Mall in Vegas.

Honey B. said...

So true on the stuffed sausage. But how about Gap Long and Lean jeans?? The rise is only moderately obscene.


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